Goodbye Is A Foreign Language

By Margo

I saw you today
And something in me broke without a warning.
Just a sudden understanding,
The same way a prey senses a predator and knows the threat.

I felt your presence first-as always
The pressure shift, the tightening in my chest.
I knew you were close by the assault of your perfume on my senses.

Then your voice reached me, pulling out reactions I have starved.
Confirming that you are still capable of undoing months of hardwork I had done.

Being near you is like a Cruciatus curse cast on me.
I endure the screams of my heart and mind each time you’re close,
The agony burning through me,
Teaching me how to breathe through the torment silently.

I kept my eyes occupied,
Scared of what would happen if they fell on you.
But I slipped-once, and stole a glance.
Still desperately human.

You met my gaze and held it for a second too long.
Long enough for my tummy to burst into butterflies
I know I killed the last time you hurt me.
I don’t know if they multiplied in your absence.
Or new ones were birthed at your presence but either ways,
My body reacted to you like nothing happened.

I hated it.
I endured it.
I craved more.

Why do I still grieve for you
In places no one can see?
If grief was meant to fade, why does
My body still answer to you
Like the love never left?