Just Out Of Reach

Written By Margo

If I had no barriers, I would stop hiding how your presence affects me. I tell myself to ignore you, but your radiance just fills the room. I can’t help but stare at your eyes-those black holes that pull me so far into you that I forget where I am. With the way your lips curl into a smile, you already know the havoc you wreck on me. You seem to love it; my lingering eyes, the hopeless stutters that burst out when you’re talking to me, the love-struck smile I have only for you.

If I had no barriers, I’d tell you that your laugh is the music I want to hear and your voice is the sweetest I’ve ever heard. I’d tell you my favourite word is your name. I’d let you know that my heart goes into overdrive at the mere thought of you. I would confess that you’re a magnet that keeps me yearning, hoping that you’d see all of me. I’d show you how rare you are and let you know how much you are of worth to me. I fought a losing battle with myself, trying to get you out of my heart. What chance did I have against you? You broke through my walls like a pack of carelessly stacked cards.

If I had no barriers, I would tell you that I want to be the one your heart reaches out to each time. I want to be the face you seek out in a room full of people you know. I want your eyes to light up with pride and love at the mere sight of me. I would tell you that I want to be the destination every road you take leads to, no matter how long it takes. I want to be the one you run to when life seems to knock you down. I would tell you that I wish you fall in love with me; not the kind of love that fizzles out after a while but the kind that makes you feel safe and comforted after a long day of stress. The kind of love that feels like a cold drink on a hot, sunny day. I hope you’d fall for me like the soft reassurance that makes you feel like you can relax or break down without the world falling apart.

If I could, I’d tell you how much I want to be your player 2, dutifully following your lead but still fighting beside you as an equal. I want to be by you through the highs and lows, even when all hope seems lost. I’d help you build your world brick by brick without a single murmur. I’d make all your dreams become a reality with glee. I’d never let go of your hand. I’d let you know that I’ve carried the secret of loving you for so long that I feel it burning my tongue, begging to be let out.

If I had no barriers, I’d immortalize you in my poems so everyone can imagine the depth of my love for you. I’d carve sunshine out of your smiles so the warmth I feel is understood by all who experience it. I’d beat your demons back into the shadows and wrap up your nightmares in pixie dust just so you never have to fear them again.

Sometimes, I wish you’d met me first, so you didn’t have to go through the pain you suffered. I wish I could undo all the pain and tears you’ve seen but since I can’t, I’ll do my best to heal you. I’ll be here to make sure you never go through that again.

In a world full of different genres of music, you’re a song I’ll gladly play on repeat. Endlessly, without skipping. And I’ll still feel like the very first time I heard it – ecstatic, peaceful, fulfilled. I’ll choose you no matter who or what may come. If I had no barriers, I’d tell you that you don’t have to keep your heart under lock and key. You don’t have to fight to be chosen because I see you. I choose you. My heart is yours, and you’re safe here.

However, your eyes seem to be in search of someone to call your own. I’m left eating out my heart to stop myself from telling you what I most desire; I’m right in front of you and I want you to finally see me because I’ve been waiting forever.