That Girl…

I feel so tired of love,
It has taken too much from me,
I have carried heartbreak like a boulder in my chest,
Every promise I believed in dissolved into nothing,
I told myself never again,
Better to walk alone than bleed in someone’s hands,
The heart has become quiet, almost cold,
I’ve learned to hide behind silence,
And swore the story of love was finished for me,

Then I met that girl,
Not in a grand way, not in a big extra “o” moment,
She appeared like a calm breeze on a heavy day,
Her presence was gentle, almost ordinary,
But something shifted,
A small crack appeared in the walls I had carefully built,
I did not plan for it,
I did not want it,
Yet there she was, stirring something I buried,

That girl does not dazzle with show or spectacle,
She simply exists, and the air around her feels different,
Silence with her does not feel empty,
Her laughter lingers long after it fades,
Even her absence leaves a strange echo,
She makes the world softer without even knowing,
I find myself watching, listening, waiting,
Not for her words, but for her presence,
And it unsettles me more than I can admit,

I have lived in shadows for so long,
Heavy, tired, and unwilling to rise again,
But that girl walks in light without even trying,
She carries warmth without promise,
She makes brokenness look less permanent,
Her smile is not directed at me alone, yet it changes me,
I stand beside her and feel the weight lift a little,
I see what life could be, if I dared,
And I fear it as much as I long for it,

I cannot tell what she feels,
Her words are kind but ordinary,
Her touch is casual, nothing more than a friend’s,
She speaks with ease, as if no story is being written,
Maybe I am the only one imagining a different meaning,
Maybe she does not notice how she has undone me,
I cannot read her eyes clearly,
They hold no promises, only mystery,
And I am left in the fog of not knowing,

Still, I wonder,
What would life beside her look like?
Mornings not haunted by silence?
Evenings softened by laughter?
A heart learning to beat without fear,
I imagine it, even though I told myself never again,
She awakens a hunger I want dead,
She makes me dream of belonging again,
And it frightens me more than loneliness ever did,

So I return to that name in my thoughts,
That girl…
The one who unsettled my silence,
The one who lit a match in my dark corners,
I do not know what she feels,
I do not know if love would ruin me again,
I only know she has made me restless,
I stand between surrender and hope,
And I cannot yet choose which way to fall.